Gimmiee a Sign! 12:01 p.m. 2003-09-10
Current Listening: Pagan Babies by Elmore Leonard
Tracy Flick: [narrating] None of this would have happened if Mr. McAllister hadn't meddled the way he did. He should have just accepted things as they are instead of trying to interfere with destiny. You see, you can't interfere with destiny. That's why it's destiny. And if you try to interfere, the same thing's going to happen anyway, and you'll just suffer. -Election
Annie Reed: Destiny is something we've invented because we can't stand the fact that everything that happens is accidental. -Sleepless in Seattle
By the way, in yesterday's entry, I asserted that my movie quotes don't necessarily have to do with what I am writing that day. I also mentioned that I spent almost an hour and a half going through my new movie quotes website. There were a lot of quotes about destiny. I suddenly thought about another favorite film, Zorro, The Gay Blade, and thought to look and see if there were any juicy quotes from that classic. The first one I saw was the one about destiny.
I have always been interested in knowing what my destiny is. I want a sign. I have a problem with control - I know this. I just want to know what is going to happen.
Okay, some of you are going to jump in with the argument that I wouldn't want to know the future, that I might regret it if I ever had that power. So, for those people, let me clarify: I want to know that good things are going to happen. I want to know that things are going to be okay.
Yes, I will admit that, I have this notion that - if I had some sort of hint that bad things might happen - I could somehow head said bad thing off at the past. I am not naive - it's partly that. I just really don't like surprises - unless they are good surprises.
So far, the "surprises" this year have not been very good: my mother-in-law dying of a heart attack on Mother's Day, and my husband losing his job for no apparent good reason. Of course, these things happened to my husband, but they affect me, too. And we were completely blindsided - by both events. In the situation of my husband's job, the reason for which he was fired was not on my radar of possibilities.
This dislike of not knowing has always been a part of me. Even as a youth, I have been interested in astrology and divination - learning how to read runes, cards, and the like. I also was interested in "white" witchcraft. I even have a talisman that I made in high school to attract a boy, with some wine in a seal-a-meal packet and other things of his... It didn't work, by the way.
Now, before you get all het up - I don't do any of this any more - but I still have a weakness for astrology. I only frequent Free Will Astrology consistently at the moment, and their horoscopes are fairly obtuse. Here is this week's:
Leo Horoscope for week of September 11, 2003 (there's always a piece of art - this week's is a butterfly emerging from a chrysallis, with the word rebirth next to it)
On an episode of the TV science fiction show "Stargate SG-1," friendly aliens called the Asgards come to Earth seeking help from the top-secret government agency with whom they've had a working relationship. It seems the super-intelligent, highly evolved Asgards have reached a dead end in their ability to fend off their mortal enemy, the Replicators. They hope their dumb allies, the humans, will be able to find some elementary solution that they themselves are too smart and complicated to think of. The idea works. One of Earth's top physicists, a simpleton by Asgard standards, dreams up a crude but effective plan. Let this be a teaching tale for you in the coming week, Leo. Trust innocent, uncluttered, amateur solutions.
See? Okay, I will think on that one! ;-) I'll be thinking about that solution!
I also have recently discovered Tarot.com. No, I haven't signed up, but there are free I-Ching and mini-Tarot readings. Here is a short reflection on a single Tarot card. I am just supposed to think about my question - it's basically, "How am I supposed to handle this new setback?" Here's what I got:
Be as caring as you can be without getting swept up in the emotional dramas of others.
The card that lands in the Situation position refers to the circumstances you find yourself in with regard to your concern.
The Queen of Cups in this position points to an emotional relationship, one that could be challenging to come to terms with. You may need to develop more clarity about what is going on and what needs to be done next. At the same time, as the Queen of Cups in you exercises the heart qualities of kindness and empathy, be sure to take care of yourself by stating your wants and needs directly.
Emotional integrity, a hallmark of the Queen of Cups, demands this. Maintain clear boundaries and speak your mind as well as your heart. The Queen of Cups is beautiful energy. Still, she can be easily hurt if she's not careful. Try to handle everyone kindly and gently, including yourself.
See? Now, that seems to really speak to the situation. I am in need of kindness, and of being able to state my wants and needs directly. Empathy is good, too!
I have also found RuneCaster. It's even cooler, because of this:
Your Name: tiedyefor
Cast the runes here:
Kind of vague -and, hey, I am not practicing sex and love majicks any more - thank you!, but how about that "asking for a hand from fate within a situation you do not control"? This has it going on with the HTML!
I am a grown up now, and know that this sort of superstitious practice is not founded in fact. Some may even warn me of graver consequences (Can you say H-E-double toothpicks?). But, it's something I do in times of stress, when "no one else" seems to be giving me a "sign".
© Tiedyefor 2003