Somebody please tell me when it will be safe to go to the movies again! What do we have to do to get something worth watching around here? Okay, I mean something light-hearted and funny and life-affirming. I know that there are some depressing, angst-filled winners out there. I am just not in the mood for 21 Grams or Mystic River right now - and I am not even interested in Cold Mountain. I chickened out on City of God - even though I had planned to see it because my Brazilian students (who shouldn't be seeing it in the first place!) said it was really good and authentic.

What was the last decent movie I have seen? Probably The Last Samurai - I guess that my last trip to see Lost in Translation doesn't count, because I had already seen it and just went because I wanted some popcorn and there was nothing else worth seeing.

So, this week, I stumbled on the website for Eurotrip. My husband had mentioned it because he had actually seen trailers for the movie, and Michele Trachtenberg (formerly of Buffy, the Vampire Slayer) was in it. I decided that - damn it all - I was going to see a movie Friday afternoon.

I did have some qualms today about my choice of film, and did some research to see if there were any other possibilities. Nothing struck me. I almost opted for Barbershop 2, but felt like I would be left out of the loop - because I hadn't seen Barbershop 1. ;-)

So, yes, I went to see Eurotrip. I got there in plenty of time to catch the trailers, and settled in with a gigantic tub of buttered popcorn and a large Diet Coke. Of course, it was quite offensive - and if I see any of the young people I know behaving that way if they are ever blessed enough to get to tour Europe, I will personally take them aside and bitch-slap them!

Why did I go see it? I was trying to justify my choice to my husband last night. Okay, popcorn fix aside, I have very fond memories of my stay in France (in case you are not aware of it, I have a separate website from NaNoWriMo about my first year as an exchange student in Angers, check out A Year in Angers), but I think that I was very well-behaved. I didn't get to that part in my novel, but I actually knew friends who went all the way - meaning, having sex with a married French woman, going to Amsterdam for the drugs, sending drugs back to the dorm from that trip, smoking hash in the dorm room, and even dropping acid at a bullfight in Spain.

Okay, it was only one person - and he knows who he is.

One day, I was sitting in the room with him and a fellow student after they had just smoked some hash, and he was telling me about the bullfight - he just took half a hit of acid. I questioned him thoroughly and with great curiosity. He finally commented, "Someone sounds interested!" I agreed with him, but clarified that I was asking him about his experience because I had no intention of ever doing any of those things - and he was the closest I was going to get!

I guess that this was the deal with that movie. And I also like the popcorn. I would have been better off continuing to watch the Sopranos videos I checked out at the library!

Speaking of which - my readers may have noticed an emphasis on food in my journal. Yesterday, I received the "Dr. Phil Care Package" I ordered for myself on Monday. In it were The Ultimate Weight Solution (on CD and in book form!) and The Food Guide. Yep, I am going to read them.

And not a moment too soon!

Today, one of my students from my "challenging" class bounced in - a little subdued because I really cooked his cabbage yesterday, but still unflappable. As I tried to direct him toward his seat and get him focused on reviewing for his quiz, he said, "Can I ask you a question?"

Cautiously, I said, "Maybe. What is it?"

"Are you pregant? Because, your stomach, it's a little bigger..."

I seared him with a look, and restrained myself from cutting him to the quick with my words. I said, very quietly, "What you said is very insulting and disrespectful."

Instant grovelling, "I'm sorry. I just thought..."

I interrupted him, "My man, remember what we talked about yesterday (and the day before, and the day before...) - about your need to think before you speak and act?"

"Yes, ma'am."

I took a deep breath and said, "For future reference, that is a question that you should never - I mean never - ask a woman. Always wait for her to say something first. ARe we clear on that?"

The boy is like a freaking hunting dog - all nerves and jitters and raw energy. Yet, even though the principles of dog and horse training often seem to apply to my job right now, it is taboo to point out to a 13-year-old this very fact.

We might insult him or hurt his feelings. Wahhhh!

Someone needs to teach that boy to hold his tongue. Perhaps by leaping over the desk and throttling him!

So, I'm going to read a little bit of Dr. Phil. Don't worry about me - I'll be okay.