Okay, enough. First, we have to get an inspector out to look at the place. Secondly, I have to get stupid annoying BallyFitness to clear my name. After being assured that I would receive a letter saying that I cancelled my membership because I moved to a place that had no Bally's and asserting that I owed them no money, all I got was a lousy form letter saying that I had cancelled my membership (on April 25!).

Annoying. I called again yesterday on my cell phone, and had another frustrating conversation (the sound was crap, and I could barely hear the customer service rep.). This gal assured me that she was sending the correct letter, but denied that it was possible to fax, e-mail, or FedEx said letter. If it arrives this week, and is not exactly what I need, I am going up to Maryland and kicking someone's ass!

So, today was AEB Day at our school. AEB stands for Academic Enrichment Block, wherein the students are let out 2 1/2 hours early, save for those lucky (or, in some cases, maligned) students who have activities scheduled to attend. Most students would rather go home. I used to have an activity (a study skills class for ESOL students who had exited the program, and were not doing well in their classes), but it didn't take. Maybe I will do better next year.

Sooooo, I used that time to catch up on my grading. I hate grading - and I have no room to complain because I only have 16 students. Part of it is that I hate to find that some of my students don't give a damn and just put any bullshit answer they can to fill the space available. They must either hope that I don't really read their papers (I do) or think that I'm stupid (I'm NOT!)

One such case is a student named.... hmmm... for anonymity's sake, let's call him "Paco." Paco is a gangsta guy whom I have known since he was in 6th grade - he didn't have much to say then, just ducked his head in a shy way. As his English got better, the "shy" ducking of his head was just a sham -almost an insult to kowtowing servitude.

I taught him briefly in 7th grade, then moved him up to Intermediate, because he was disrupting class for my High Beginners. But it was my turn for him this year - the other teacher having served her time. Paco is not the worst gansta guy I've had - my "hardcore" guy that we moved out of school last week was - but he is intentionally disruptive in class, mugging and making little comments for his buddies' benefit, and constantly arguing with me. Last Word Freak!

He is also anti-homework, which will put one on the shit-list faster than anything in my class (aside from arguing with me!). He got a total of 4 zeros last week, but today, he came in and said, "I am bery, bery proud of myself today. I did my homework."

So, I asked to see it.

My students are working on a week-long book report. I have a Book Report Bingo Card, and so far they have only done 5 questions of their choosing. This week, they are doing all 25. Book Report Blackout Bingo - my own invention.

Paco unfolded a piece of paper that he had taken out of his pocket. There were some answers there, but, where I had asked for 2-3 complete sentences, I got some one-word answers. The thing that set me off was his character diagram. It's a little man, with spaces on the arms and legs to write the physical, mental, social, and other characteristics of a chosen character. Under three of the categories, he had written "good."

What!!!!! (arteries pumping, adrenaline rising, teacher poised to leap from chair and throttle smug, smartass student)

So, I did have a little tirade, explaining that he is a student that is supposed to be exited from ESOL, but the decision was made to not move him until next year. In other words, "good" and "bery (very) good" - and even "bad" are descriptive terms reserved for immigrants just off the boat. I also commented on his lack of sentence phrasing on the question and answer section.

Silence.

Then: "But I did my homework."

"That's it!" I said tightly, grabbing my cell phone. "We're calling your mother!"