There's No Place Like Gnome... 9:33 a.m. 2006-04-20

Yesterday, I received a disturbing letter from my best friend,
Fleur de Lis. It seems that her garden gnome was stolen - in plain daylight!!! She is still looking for suspects.

This only confirms to me that my decision NOT to have gnomes in my garden - although my husband begged and pleaded with me. We already have two hideous renditions from Tom Clark in our home - one dressed as Santa Claus and one dressed as a Boy Scout. We have these things because my husband's brother once worked for Mr. Clark. These are not even your typical bright and cheery gnomes. Rather, they look like terra cotta with the paint worn off. But, as I am finding out every day, there are compromises to be made in marriage.

But it was my husband, after we saw Amelie, that told me about the "Front de Liberation des Nains de Jardins", a French group that once stole a whole bunch of garden gnomes and arranged them in a fairy ring in some forest. I also found an article about a Gnome installation of 2000 in Paris that received threats from the FLNJ.

According to Wikipedia, such organizations exist. There's a whole page there about the Garden Gnome Liberation Front. Apparently, there is a city that welcomes gnomes in refuge - it's called Barga, Italy. I still think that my friend should suspect the French.

Maybe the gnome has been sent around the world. That is known as the "traveling gnome prank" - it didn't start with Amelie! Gnomes have been sent abroad before. I found a website called The Gnome Files that has pictures, postcards, and route maps if Gnorman's trip around the world. I just hope that the perpetrators were not fans of The Full Monty - in that movie, a garden gnome was stolen only to be shattered within sight of its owner!!!

Alas, I think that my students are finishing up their standardized test. I have had a good time reading about Gnome Gnapping, and i have only one more thing to say. There is another article about a similar caper with a warning from Sergeant Wayne Johnson: "I've learned a few things out of this. For starters, believe nothing of what you hear and only half of what you see. Trust no one, and don't look very far for suspects."

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