Like the corners of my mind.... 1:21 p.m. 2005-07-31

Check out my E-Bay Auctions!!! Buy! Buy!

I finally got the work done for last week's E-Bay orders and mailed them out yesterday! Whew!!! We will see what this week will bring.

I also have been looking into website matters. My Maison Celeste is still not back on... It's all just a little misunderstanding between Bravenet and myself - I hope it is back up by tomorrow!

The fact is, I am re-thinking my whole web network. I want a really cool website conglomerate that incorporates my blog, my art, my recipe site (soon to be renewed with my Petit Bakers!), guest book (adding a mailing list!), and to add a commerce shopping cart. At the moment, I have piece-meal offerings from several services. I have downloaded a trial copy of Dreamweaver, a web developement software package, but my husband thinks that I may be better served by having a professional do my site. Hey, he knows a lot of people with the Mac Users group, and I am totally into delegation right now.

IF I can balance that with my control needs!!! ;-)

What I am really supposed to be doing this week - and in the few weeks to come - is to find out what I really want: Yes, in case you are asking, this was part of my Extended Audio Horoscope by Rob at Free Will Astrology. I will not quote the whole thing, but here are excerpts"

Leo, here is an amazing revelation I would like you to have – are you ready? You can have anything you really want, if you will only ask God for it in an unselfish way. You can have anything you really want, if you will just ask God for it in an unselfish way.

Ah, but here’s the rub, Leo, here’s the hard part: do you even know what you really want? If you are like most people, the answer is probably “not really…” I mean, how can you know what you really want when you are so busy trying to make do with the scraps and the crumbs that you are so used to usually getting? How can you know what your really want when you are so distracted in the pursuit of things that you sort of want, or things that you want some of the time, but don’t want the rest of the time.

Leo, how can you possibly know what you really want when you so rarely – if ever – take 24 hours out of your life and concentrate on finding out what you really want? Let alone, 72 hours out of your life or a whole week. Have you ever taken a week out of your life to really discover what you want more than anything else?

Here’s what I strongly recommend for you, Leo: Make this your passionate quest very soon. Sometime, in the next couple of weeks, devote at least 24 hours – maybe more, but at least 24 hours – to finding out what 3 experiences you want more than anything else in this life.

So, of course I have been procrastinating... a bit. I actually pondered a couple of courses of action: Going to New Orleans for a couple of days (but, already did that this summer!), or go on a retreat. There is actually the Monastery of the Holy Spirit in Conyers, that takes in retreatants. I may still do that sometime - when it is cooler.

During that 24 hour period – or longer – meditate, take long walks, go out into nature, take a trip, read inspirational literature, listen to profoundly moving music… or/and do anything it takes to stimulate your imagination, to reach down deep into your soul and discover the truth about your most primal desires – and write it all down.

This is the perfect time to do this work, Leo. Astrologically speaking, this is the perfect time to do it. Even if your birthday is not coming up for a couple of weeks, you are still very much right now entering into the thick of your birthday season. And so, it’s your personal New Year – it’s a time when you have a cosmic mandate to devote extra attention to the sublime glory of you.

Since I have decided against a trip, I can still do all of the other stuff. I have noticed of late that I don't listen to music that much. Part of it is my love of books on tape. Another part - I think - is that music brings back very powerful memories for me. Some of those memories are painful, but usually only because I wish I could recapture those feelings.

I regard your birthday season as a time when you have a heightened power to exorcize the past and to launch fresh starts. Your deeds have a more profound effect than usual – either for good or for ill. Your deeds have a more profound effect on your loved ones. So – not to put too much pressure on you or anything, Leo – but what you do now could either distract you or heal you for a long time.

Finally, I think I have come up with a suitable reflective meditation. I have boxes and boxes of memorabilia from childhood, school, travels, and wedding that I have been meaning to sort out for a while. I think that I am going to do that. I already read some of the old articles I wrote for the RamPage, my high school newspaper. I will share them with you later - promise not to barf! ;-)

I think that this will do a few things: exorcise old ghosts, remind me of how fortunate I have been, and also remind me of what I have wanted for myself all along.

I’ll approach this from a different angle. It’s important that you know how potent a moment this is. Psychologists say that it takes 10 times more information to change your mind than it did to make up your mind in the first place. That’s an especially crucial factor coming to bear on you right now. You’ve got to be fussy about what new notions you allow to enter into your beautiful head in the coming weeks. Those new notions will have almost as much staying power as the theories you collected when you first left home.

That is very powerful! I don't know if "first left home" should apply to the wacky 3 semesters at LSU, or to my moving to France, or even to my taking a job in Monticello... We'll see.

Leo, did you ever hear about that famous experiment in imprinting? Baby ducks were separated from their mothers as soon as they hatched and the babies were encouraged to cuddle instead with this doll – this terry cloth dummy-like doll – and for the rest of their lives, these baby ducks as they grew, acted as if the dolls were their mothers. Well, I believe that you are now as impressionable as a newborn duckling, Leo. So pick a very fine source of inspiration. Leo, to imprint yourself with. No terry cloth dolls, please.

Okay....

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